![]() Plus, consider the positive traits you display when you back out gracefully. You may feel like you’re being generous and helpful by agreeing, but if you can’t follow through on your promises, it’s not a recipe for high performance, personal happiness, or strong relationships. If you’re paranoid that saying no after you’ve already said yes will make you appear irresponsible, embrace the fact that it would be selfish and inappropriate to follow through on the task knowing you couldn’t complete it. However, if the costs outweigh the benefits (such as the impact on your personal life or your current projects), then it’s better to withdraw. If the initiative would give you exposure to other parts of the company or allow you to build social capital or new skills, then it may be worth the sacrifice. Evaluate how crucial the project is to key business priorities. For example, let’s say you’ve said yes to a new initiative from your boss, but now you’re having second thoughts about participating. Consider the cost.īefore you deliver the news, make sure that backing out is in fact the right decision. Here’s how to go about saying no after you’ve already said yes with tact and professionalism. Doing so will keep your reputation intact and your relationships strong. Whether you have overbooked yourself, realized you have a conflict, or otherwise can’t or don’t want to participate in a project, it’s essential to uncommit gracefully. Not only does it result in excess stress for you, but others may be able to sense that you’re distracted, overwhelmed, or resentful. Instead, you grit your teeth and follow through with the commitment - sometimes at the expense of your own wellbeing, which backfires. This reaction makes sense, since studies show that the brain makes no distinction between possible social rejection and physical pain. If you can relate, then the thought of retracting your agreement and facing the brunt of another person’s disappointment or anger at you may be too much to bear. These fears are heightened for “sensitive strivers” - highly sensitive high-achievers - who tend to overthink situations and have a hard time setting boundaries. You may worry that backing out will burn bridges, cause you to be perceived as flaky or unreliable, or lead to you being labeled a poor team player. Saying no is never easy, but it’s particularly challenging after you’ve already said yes to a commitment. You know you need to say no after saying yes, but you’re hesitant to back out of the obligation after you’ve already given your word. It suddenly hits you that you’re spread too thin. I’d love to!” Flash forward, and you’re looking at emails piling up in your inbox and a flurry of appointments on your calendar. Without even pausing to think, the first words out of your mouth are, “Sure. Picture it - a colleague asks if you can chair a new committee they’re starting. ![]()
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December 2022
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